i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
