Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
