Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
