We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
