Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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