I must be too annoying 4 u.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
