Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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