i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
