Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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