Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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