I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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