why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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