Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
