OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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