So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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