don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
