When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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