I was born with a shot glass in my hand
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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