Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
