It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
