There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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