I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
