she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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