She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
