I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
