Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
