Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
