whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
