Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
