haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
