I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
