Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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