I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
