I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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