What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
