Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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