yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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