This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
