I just threw up on my dentist
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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