I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
did i just pee glitter
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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