That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
