in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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