Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame

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(214): View more from Texas

She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.

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(770): View more from Georgia

i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.

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(256): View more from Alabama

As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday

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(831): View more from California

Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.

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(562): View more from California

Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming

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