I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
