I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
