...so i touched it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
