I heard we made out
just come out here and I will go home with you...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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