how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
