Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
