I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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